As you are all probably aware, Apple fanboys everywhere are eagerly awaiting the release of the latest version of the Chocolate Factory's operating system, dubbed Microsoft Ubuntu 10.04 SE For Workgroups. But beneath the joviality could lie a sinister threat to the stability of many users computer systems.
Some users fear that the high energies involved in putting together a Linux distro could be enough to create a microscopic black hole which would gradually grow and eventually absorb the whole Earth and beyond. Were this to happen, and the Earth to be destroyed, all the computers in the world would stop working and aircraft would fall from the sky. The airlines would lose money in proportions that financial accountants term "for reals this time" and the global economy would crash and terrorists would take over.
However, people who actually know what they're talking about assure us that Linux distros are constantly being built in the upper atmosphere all the time, and that this is perfectly safe because any black hole which could be created by those energies, were they to be sufficiently great, would disappear before it could pose any kind of threat on default security settings.
To conclude I would like to assure the reader that Ubuntu 10.04 cannot create a black hole that would destroy the Earth.
14 years ago